Good to have and just in case......

Over the years of cruising in the Med, various spare parts, tools, equipment and good-to-have-things and just-in-case-bits have accumulated in the boat. With this new situation as a single hander I have put a lot of thought into what other things I will need. Here is what I am taking with me so far. Some things for safety, others just for comfort.
-Spare part kit for the bilge pump.
-More fenders, one small fender for the dinghy (which I found on the beach nearby)
two flat fenders that can double as seats or steps.
-Ipad with waterproof case. The Ipad has navigation apps such as isailor and Boat Beacon, receiving/sending AIS signals.
-lubrication grease for budging everything I haven’t the strength to move, shift, dislodge, push or shove. 
-Cooling fan tray for my laptop. (things tend to get overheated in Greece, including me)
-Emergency rations if I can’t get to a shop.
-Camping stove toaster for all the stale bread I will undoubtedly have.
-A children’s bicycle basket to keep hold of camera, cell phone and other breakables in the cockpit or cabin. (hooks onto a shelf or other fixture.)
-A handheld VHF radio with extra long antenna. The fixed radio down below is out of reach from the wheel.
-Miners lamp, not only for finding things in dark corners but also for being seen at night in the dinghy.
-Sikaflex for gluing and fixing leaks.
-Zinc anode and bottom plug.
-Torch on magnetic flexible legs (gorilla)
-Anchor chain roller to be mounted on the pushpit. (to spare my back)
-Extra strong solar lamp for anchor light.
- Bucket with tight fitting lid. (toilet while the boat’s on the hard or when I can't leave the cockpit)
-Safety harness.
-small coffee thermos with hanging strap.
-Solar powered charger for ipad, phone and camera.
-Collapsible water canisters (10 liters)

Plans and dreams

Jogging along the coast, southern Sweden

This idea of mine about sailing on and continuing the lifestyle I had before my husband died has almost become an obsession. The plans I've started making for the future are fortunately preventing me from dwelling too much on the recent past. Instead of sitting staring into space or watching a ridiculous film on TV, as I have far too often, I go for a long walk. The walk gets longer and faster each day as I am more and more conscious of the fact that I have to get my strength back both mentally and physically if I am going to be fit enough to sail alone. Instead of searching the net for information about sickness and death,  I have started searching for information about apps for navigation, solar lamps,  maintenance manuals, antenna boosters and so on. 

I don't think I will ever be able to "get over" the loss of my husband but I do think it's possible to learn to live with the fact that he's gone and never coming back. I have got to the point where I can allow myself to look forward and hope that the dreams I have now will slowly but surely replace the long nightmare I have been living in until recently.

You can't see the light at the end of the tunnel if you keep looking back.